Only the Best

When I couldn't get on the Pam Am Shuttle at the Marine Terminal or New York Air at Laguardia's main terminal, I took the Trump Shuttle to DC and back at least 4-6 times a month. When he bought the shuttle route along with 20 of the world's oldest planes from Eastern, I remember everybody being excited and curious about what changes Trump would make. Eastern had become such a dreary cattle call. After all, we sweathogs could get use to nice things too.

Pan Am was offering free food and drinks (typically, at first) and comfortable leather seats, but I preferred them mainly because of the convenient location of the Marine Terminal (and, hey, fax and copier service!). But really, how much can you eat and drink on a 50 minute flight? Eastern was spartan by comparison, offering little but a frumpy seat and ear-splitting engines that screamed bloody murder on take off and landing, not to mention the loud, monotonous humming at cruising. So Trump paints all of the old 727s a spit-shiny white with red lettering and accents, decks out the cabin with maple wood veneer, chrome seat belt latches, and gold colored bathroom fixtures. Big deal. Turns out, nobody was interested in the gawdy "only the best" junk. Nobody wanted free champagne on a 7:00 a.m. business flight. We didn't want 50 minutes of faux luxury. We wanted convenience. We just wanted to get to our meetings on time, get back on the earliest thing smoking, and give us drinks to mute the hysterical sound of Eastern's painted-over screaming engines and their brain-damaging humming noise that filled the old creaky cabins. Three months later, when one of Trump's planes was forced into an emergency landing at Logan, the shine was already gone.